What a whirlwind week this has been...
Just got back from attending my first Austin Film Festival, yesterday, and I'm certainly still processing. So many panels, round-tables, meet-ups, gatherings, late night parties, films, series, readings and soooooo many people! That was one of my favorite part of the festival: the incredible people I got to meet, learn from, spend time with... Some, very briefly among a crowd -- others more intimately; all in all, it was such an inspiring experience.
Utopia made it to the semi-finals in the drama feature screenplay competition, and I came in 2nd place during the live pitch competition. Now, that live pitch event is one experience I won't soon forget. It was surreal... I felt emotions I can't name--I was raw on that stage, naked, wholly me. Coming down from that has been scary. Meeting so many people afterward who could relate, who just wanted me to know about their experience, touching that many people in 90secs... I can't find the words.
So, I'm back at my desk--back to reality and thinking "what now?"
Ain't that the age old question? What to do (how to do it.) And, why.
I've often wondered why that's a fundamental issue, a deep rooted "problem" with the human experience. What to do and why. We all need to have a sense of direction, a bit of knowing, a kind of confidence: an idea of where we are going with whatever it is we are doing. That whole "what's my purpose" question is basically us asking what to do and why. Ain't that something...? It sure puts a dent in that whole pattern of thought in relation "alphas vs betas", "leaders vs followers" at least when it comes to this subject matter (for me), 'cause I firmly believe no one comes into this world knowing exactly what to do, how to do it, and why.
Breaking it down to a simple need to know what to do and why I should to do it, really put a few things into perspective for me. No, I still have no idea what to do next (I'm going to think on that once I finish this blog), and the why...? Well, that one's going to take me a while. But, I know it has something to do with what the story, Utopia, is about.
What I like about that "why" question is the fact that the answer to it has literally nothing to do with me. It's freeing... :) Knowing that my experiences are not unique to me, my questions are not unique to me, nothing is unique to me. I love it. It allows me to be open, it allows me the freedom to let the universe, let my fellow humans, let the god within polish me into a clear voice; into this shiny "thing" and I like shiny things (no, not what you're thinking. But that's nice too :))
So, I'm gonna end this spiel by telling you to go on ahead and keep asking yourself in every situation "what do I do?" And, "why should I do it?" I promise, it helps a little.
Cheers,
Aimi
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